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Old 11-02-2018, 02:19 PM   #1
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Never ask a question ......

Lawyers should never ask a Texas grandma a question if they aren't prepared for the answer.

In a trial, a Texas small-town prosecuting attorney called his first witness, a grandmotherly, elderly woman to the stand. He approached her and asked, 'Mrs. Jones, do you know me?' She responded, 'Why, yes, I do know you, Mr. Williams. I've known you since you were a boy, and frankly, you've been a big disappointment to me. You lie, you cheat on your wife, and you manipulate people and talk about them behind their backs. You think you're a big shot when you haven't the brains to realize you'll never amount to anything more than a two-bit paper pusher. Yes, I know you.'
The lawyer was stunned. Not knowing what else to do, he pointed across the room and asked, 'Mrs. Jones, do you know the defense attorney?'

She again replied, 'Why yes, I do. I've known Mr. Bradley since he was a
youngster, too. He's lazy, bigoted, and he has a drinking problem. He can't build a normal relationship with anyone, and his law practice is one of the worst in the entire state. Not to mention he cheated on his wife with three different women. One of them was your wife. Yes, I know him.'

The defense attorney nearly died.

The judge asked both counselors to approach the bench and, in a very quiet voice, said,

'If either of you idiots asks her if she knows me, I'll send you both to the electric chair.....🤠
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Old 11-03-2018, 10:39 AM   #2
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Did you hear about the lawyer who took viagra - he grew taller.
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Old 11-03-2018, 10:51 AM   #3
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Did you hear about the lawyer who took viagra - he grew taller.
Hi: Chris & Patricia... Trouble with Viagara. When I take it I get a "Stiff" neck!!! Alf
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Old 11-03-2018, 11:05 AM   #4
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Talking

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Hi: Chris & Patricia... Trouble with Viagara. When I take it I get a "Stiff" neck!!! Alf
escape artist N.S. of Lake Erie
Alf, if taking viagra makes you feel quite so tense, you could always try and relax with a stiff drink or two

Chris
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Old 11-03-2018, 01:44 PM   #5
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I get a stiff back when I unload the cases of Viagra from my truck into the garage. Carl
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Old 11-03-2018, 06:59 PM   #6
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With whatever men use these days (nights), a simple joke, and whatever else, totally gets out of proportion.
At least I enjoyed reading it Jim!
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Old 11-03-2018, 07:14 PM   #7
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There, was the Matron who went to confession in a Catholic Church.
When asked what she wanted to confess, she said bless me father I have sinned, I killed a politician.
The priest replied.
We are hear to give absolution, for you sins!, not your Community service.
Doug
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