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Can't help with the Highlander question you posed.
I can weigh in on tow vehicles. More than 20 years experience towing travel trailer and boats. Can the Highlander pull the 21? Sure. A place where I stored my travel trailer used a garden tractor to move my trailer into the storage barn. Doesn't mean I would want to tow with it. The question is not pulling the trailer. It's stopping. That's where under sized vehicles pose the most risk. Add overworked transmissions and cross winds and the potential for disaster follows. Next door neighbor towed a trailer pushing the max limit on this tow vehicle. Several years towing experience. Coming down a hill on a curve a cross wind caught him causing loss of control and totaled both vehicles. Case of the tail wagging the dog. Luckily he survived.
When it comes to towing I am firmly in the camp of go big or go home. Also in the camp of having double the weight capacity in your tow vehicle as the dry weight of the trailer. The bigger vehicle will allow you to safely brake and maneuver in an emergency, give you ample capacity for towing and load capacity.
Of course the choice is yours, and yours alone to make. Good luck!
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Wander often, Wonder always
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