50 years of marriage.....

[cpaharley2008]

After 50 years of marriage, the couple were laying in bed one evening when the woman felt her husband begin to massage her in ways he hadn't done in a long time.
It almost tickled when his fingers started on her neck, and then began to descend down her back.
So he stroked her shoulders and neck, and slowly lowered his hand and stopped on her stomach.
Then he put his hand on the inside of his wife's left arm and began to go downwards, gently passing her buttocks and continuing to the leg.
Then he went up the thigh and stopped at the top of her leg. He did the same thing on the right side, and then suddenly stopped, turned and stopped.
After she was as aroused and full of desire as she hadn't felt for years from all of her husband's caresses, she asked in a soft, loving voice, "Honey, that was wonderful, why did you stop?".
To which he responded: "I found the remote control ...".

[Oldtimer]

Guess they didn’t make it to 51 yrs of marriage

[Iowa Dave]

That same couple had some children who carefully planned a large celebration for the 50th anniversary. Laying in the same bed as Jim Norman described the night before the party in their Iowa farmhouse at bedtime the wife says to her husband
I’ve been wondering about something.
What’s that? he says
in 50 years of marriage have you ever been unfaithful?
Well yes, Yes I have
How many times? she asks.
I don’t know exactly but I did keep track by putting a kernel of corn in a pint jar I kept under my side of the bed.
He turned the light on and pulled the jar out and dumped out the kernels
He counted them. 17 he said. She didn’t say anything.
They shut the light off and lay there for a couple minutes
The man spoke
How about you dear, were you ever unfaithful?
Yes I was she said
How many times he asked?
Well, she said, every time I was unfaithful I put a soybean in a jar kept under my side of the bed. She turned the light on and retrieved the jar. Dumped it out on the bed. There were about 6 soybeans and two ten dollar bills .
Puzzled. he asks, I understand the beans but not the two ten dollar bills?
She says. Well, you remember when beans got up to Ten dollars a bushel? I sold.
Iowa Dave

[James Gang]

Two men were fishing in a boat very close to a bridge. They looked up and saw a funeral procession coming a cross the bridge. One man stands up in the boat, takes off his hat and bows his head. After the procession went by he sat down and resumed fishing. His fishing buddy says “that was a nice thing to do. I did not know you were such a nice guy”. The man, that stood up, says “I guess it was the thing to do, after all I was married to her for 40 years”.

[rotorbudd]

Thanks guys. Made my day!

[escape artist]

Hi: All... At a marriage celebration I asked a fellow what contributed to the 45 year length of his marriage? He said... "2 words... Yes Dear"!!! Alf
escape artist N.S. of Lake Erie

[Curious Mike]

After 50 years of marriage........

[Allan Bornestig]

You know you are getting old when your sweetie says: Honey, let's go upstairs and make love.
You say: I can't do both.