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Old 12-08-2019, 04:20 PM   #1
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Rotten mood

The weather outside is frightening. So is my mood. There must be some way to get through today.

It is a cold and rainy winter morning. I woke up feeling miserable, without direction, horizon absent, completely rotten, foul of thought, cranky and of course, empty. Too bad Iím not a drinker and I wonít smoke anything. Are my meds at fault? Need I also mention feeling furiously old? Did you know that taking glucosamine and chrondroitin is good for your joints but also causes explosive diarrhea?

Did take the dog out in the yard, walked with her around the perimeter, but even she wouldnít chase her old tennis ball. (Why is it everything seems old?) Beat her to the Sunday paper at the driveway gate, then went inspection walking around the trailer. Itís in between time. Want to hook up the trailer and go someplace, anyplace, but canít do it. Not free to just take off. Canít think of a new mod to do. This may be the source of my foul mood, or, I think more likely it is common septuagenarian depression/anxiety. Re-read sentence two, paragraph two. We get it.

The trailer looks safe enough here, under a canopy in the yard. It should weather wintersí winds, ice and snows. Guess I could go inside it and pretend to beÖ anywhere. Furnace works fine. There are books. Today my rotten mood, however, will not allow me to pretend that will be a cure. It would be a great thing to take off and hide somewhere far away from the dreaded upcoming holiday season. Good luck with that, eh? Having no destination is not nice. I guess today thereís always cold shrimp and the NFL.
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Old 12-08-2019, 04:41 PM   #2
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Welcome to my world Myron, I can so empathize with your feelings. I have not seen the sun in weeks, definite sunlight deprivation issues. I try to involve myself with local government issues, talking with City Council on issues. Volunteering with animals helps, I have several outdoor cats that depend upon me for their survival in the cold weather. Finally there is the forum, I passed a milestone today, 20,000 posts. I spend far too much time here but I enjoy the company....
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Old 12-08-2019, 05:00 PM   #3
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Spent the day shoveling our last 14” snowfall off the decks and our roof .
Wife was inside baking Christmas cookies and feeding the wood stove
Everything was good until my neighbor told me we are supposed to get six more inches of snow tonight and then it’s supposed to drop below zero
My plans for next week will be put on hold for a while

On a happier note !!
Our lake is starting to ice over so we can soon go skating and ice fishing
The second deer hunting season opens next week
I cheer myself up knowing that there is 4 more months of winter left and that Summer is still a long way off
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Old 12-08-2019, 05:00 PM   #4
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As days shorten and birthdays pass, the sun refuses to shine and 2019 camping memories fade it’s easy to get into a funk. For me, interaction with my kids, grandkids and friends and regularly visiting my hoard of treasures and working off of a never ending list of tasks keeps my mood generally positive. I stop at a few businesses where I know countermen and parts guys and get a 2020 calendar, I honor my folks with placement of a wreath, and enjoy holiday music. As I hang and review my new calendar I reference fiberglass posts and plan my spring, summer and fall excursions and plan to make reservations. The sun comes out, the dog flushes a nice rooster pheasant out of my little prairie and I trim my apple trees. The funk fades, Christmas, New Years, some birthdays, the Football playoffs and college hoops and pretty soon it’s spring again. I appreciate every day I’m given and don’t miss a chance to tell a joke, make a new friend and tell my wife how special she is.
Last week I drove to Fort Wayne and on the way I picked up a hitchhiker. As he settled in he said he was surprised to get a ride. He continued on “how did you know I’m not A serial killer” he said. I said “the chance of two serial killers ending up in the same car are astronomical”. Have a great week.
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Old 12-08-2019, 05:10 PM   #5
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It is probably cruel of me to say it, but I just finished a weekend rally - the Christmas Scamp Camp at Dead Horse Ranch State Park in Cottonwood, AZ. Temperatures in the 40's at night, 50 - 60 during the day, but lots of rain today. Lots of Scamps, of course, but 3 Escapes & a Casita 15. Some photos.
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Old 12-08-2019, 05:13 PM   #6
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Myron, we too are looking forward to brighter skies Tuesday and/or Thursday according to the forecast. Too soggy to do anything outside with the rain last night and this morning. Snow pile by the drive is melting fast, only 5 feet high and half as wide now. Going somewhere is not in the cards for us until spring. Keep seeing RVs on I40 and SH14... assuming they are not doing much outdoors with the snow/rain/mud.

So instead, I'm just looking at pics and mods on this site and others for new ideas, as well as planning next year camping. So far we are going to the Balloon Fiesta as well as our usual Jemez and Sumner Lake trips. I need to get back out to Jack's Creek to enjoy viewing the wildlife that wanders past the camp sites. Also hope to make it out to Storrie Lake after reading your post.

Looking forward to hearing about your next stops... maybe Bluewater, Heron, or up by Sipapu? (Make sure you don't miss the left turn on Hwy 76 at Truchas if you go that way... don't ask me how I know )
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Old 12-08-2019, 05:16 PM   #7
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Looks like someone needed help with a tow truck, stay warm Jon....
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Old 12-08-2019, 06:08 PM   #8
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Warning Buzz Kill Ahead

You guys want a reality check? I don't mind. Except now I gotta bear a little of my soul. I think it might make the Winter pass a little easier.

November, 2017, I was given a drug to help with some swelling in my leg. Within one month, I had trouble breathing, my respiratory system filled with excrement (for lack of a better word).

Sleeping was limited to no more than 4 hours at a time followed by a severe coughing attack. 6 times a day, on average. My body flushed color and I looked like a dead thing. Half my friends left cause they thought I was about to die. The next 18 months were filled with experiences you probably would not believe, if I told you.

I was told by my doctor that "hope is not for me".

Finally in September 2019, a faint realization occurred to me that I am not going to die (for now) and that my body is starting to resume normal functions. Starting to recover. Slowly but surly things began to normalize. I was reduced to guitar and yoga. But then my color returned and I knew I was getting better.

Now things are good. My health is rebounding nicely. I am back at the gym with my homies (I am a gym rat).

My wife freaked (so did others) and now we have a trailer. And a new lease on life.

This morning the Sunrise was beautiful and a silent gratefulness flushed over me. I lost my first love 2 weeks ago in what can only be described as heart wrenching and devastating. Hard to believe for me. Hard to get over for sure.

Spring will come again for me and with it the chance to discover the simple things in life again. I still have my wife, she still loves me. My kids write things about me on my facebook page that make me cry.

One thing that is burned into my mind along with an entire redistribution of time and priorities is this. Tomorrow is promised to no one. Love the people in your lives and realize each and ever cloudy day is an opportunity to love and help us all.

To me, today looks pretty darn good. Tomorrow is something I hope to know. Someday we will all meet and talk about the cold dark Winter. I hope this helps you to find meaning in each and every minute. I do!
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Old 12-08-2019, 06:18 PM   #9
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Myron, we are about an hour north of Puerto Vallerta. The humidity finally broke so we are sleeping under a sheet, and at 3 am the throw Escape gave us at Osoyoos. Today I did an almost 7 mile mountain bike ride, 2 laps at the pool, and a couple miles of walking. Tomorrow, more walks, yoga, then pool aerobics. The rainy season is mostly past, temps are low 80s, as is the Pacific, blue skies most days. I am enjoying what my friends call a boot camp routine. Due to hyper parathyroidism, 2 months this summer was spent in bed. After the operation in mid Aug the objective has been to regain the mobility, flexibility, and strength lost. This 4 month interlude in Mexico is healing.
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Old 12-08-2019, 06:21 PM   #10
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So is your post!
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Old 12-08-2019, 06:31 PM   #11
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Originally Posted by MyronL View Post
Itís in between time. Want to hook up the trailer and go someplace, anyplace, but canít do it. Not free to just take off. Canít think of a new mod to do.
Only 50 days until we start heading to Q'site, but who's counting?

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Old 12-08-2019, 08:20 PM   #12
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Only 50 days until we start heading to Q'site, but who's counting?

Ron

That's right! I'll see you in Quartzite, Myron. I'll cheer you up.


Boy, have I got a lot to do before then...
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Old 12-08-2019, 09:21 PM   #13
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Aaaah MyronL …. I'm in the same sort of mood. I have a huge list of 'end of summer projects' to do still …. never got any of them done and now its trying to be winter and I don't care … just no interest. Its been relatively warm outside … 30, 31, 32 and raining hard with 20 knots of wind ( to me the coldest of the year )…. insult to injury it got dark …. too dark to do my outside projects …. it was only 12:30 in the afternoon … and we are 13 days from the shortest day of the year. Good things: No snow yet and the bad things: I'm out of whiskey, wine and beer ( just as well) … worst thing is, I'm also out of olives (I'm an olive-holic) and out of money to correct the above. I got really sick this summer and ran up enormous medical bills …. oh well, savings are over rated. Right? The good news is the Doc's worked me over pretty good and it worked! Other than my mood, I'm feeling better (except for today) than I have been for most of a decade …. maybe I'll get a puppy.

When life is giving you a 'test', I have the Rx …. get a book called 'Shackleton's Boat Journey', written by Woorsley. No matter what is happening in your life, you will realize 'what a piece of cake' you have compared to Earnest Shackleton and crew …. now those guys had it tough!! And no one died. What a story! My favorite read. Mmmmm I'm feeling better all ready.

Tom
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Old 12-08-2019, 09:44 PM   #14
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… and we are 13 days from the shortest day of the year.

get a book called 'Shackleton's Boat Journey', written by Woorsley. No matter what is happening in your life, you will realize 'what a piece of cake' you have compared to Earnest Shackleton and crew …. now those guys had it tough!! And no one died. What a story! My favorite read. Mmmmm I'm feeling better all ready.

Tom
I have this depressing habit when I first start to see the long summer days are getting noticeably shorter of thinking, hmm, still 46 days till the shortest day and it'll 92 days of less sunlight until we're back to this point. And that's my cheery thought for the day.

13 days! Man that's 26 days until we're back to this point.

The Shackleton story is almost unbelievable. I wonder what the outcome would be today in similar circumstances. I think folks in that era were, overall, much tougher than today.

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Old 12-08-2019, 10:13 PM   #15
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People in my area have been disturbed this weekend due to the shooting on Friday at nearby Pensacola Naval Air Station. One of the base's satellite fields, Whiting, is just four miles from my house at the T-6 flies. It trains lots of foreign flight students. People are nervous and security is very tight.
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Old 12-08-2019, 10:47 PM   #16
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One thing that is burned into my mind along with an entire redistribution of time and priorities is this. Tomorrow is promised to no one. Love the people in your lives and realize each and ever cloudy day is an opportunity to love and help us all.

To me, today looks pretty darn good. Tomorrow is something I hope to know. Someday we will all meet and talk about the cold dark Winter. I hope this helps you to find meaning in each and every minute. I do!
Thanks for those thoughts. To the phrase: "You only live once." Respond, "No, you only die once, you live every day until then so make the most of it!"

By the way, I went to Boulder high, class of '72. My 86 year old mother still lives there. Try to see her as often as I can.
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Old 12-09-2019, 07:45 AM   #17
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Originally Posted by MyronL View Post
The weather outside is frightening. So is my mood. There must be some way to get through today.

It is a cold and rainy winter morning. I woke up feeling miserable, without direction, horizon absent, completely rotten, foul of thought, cranky and of course, empty.
Myron: I hope today is better. One saying that I always liked is "Behind the clouds the sun is still shining bright". I think this quote or something similar was credited to Abraham Lincoln.
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Old 12-09-2019, 10:55 AM   #18
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The light deprivation seriously affects me. The rear of my house faces south, and about 40 ft from the back of the house rises a 30 ft nearly vertical "cliff" (hydraulic mining during the gold rush). So in the winter, the sun barely breaks the top of the cliff, meaning the house gets about 3 hrs of semidirect sun. I laugh when the people at Home Depot ask if I've considered solar power.

Dave, the hitchhiker story did give me a good shot of endorphins. What a great line.

The Shackleton story is indeed amazing. Ron, about 5 years ago PBS did a documentary on some folks who recreated his journey. https://www.pbs.org/show/chasing-shackleton/ Looks like at least some of it is on Youtube.
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Old 12-09-2019, 11:00 AM   #19
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Old 12-09-2019, 11:19 AM   #20
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Count your blessings one by one.... Puts things in perspective!
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