Your description of hooking up the 'yoke' coupler to your tow vehicle is as perfect a description as any I've read. Having done precisely the same with our 21NE, I was actually able to visualize each step of the way. And your "...it can still be the devil" comment is right on.
Having used both the yoke and collar type of hitches, I'd say they're about equal in getting the right initial alignment. When I had the collar lock on another trailer, I didn't have the luxury of a backup camera to help, so it was just experience that got it squared up, and then a little back and forth to get the ball under the coupler. The backup camera on my current truck makes that task much easier.
In both cases, as you described, getting the leading edge of the coupler just past the flat spot of the ball, the coupler would (in most cases) just drop right onto the ball. From that point on, latching the yoke style can be a challenge compared to the collar style
. I cannot recall any difficulty latching the collar style.
I've found that I'd prefer the collar lock (i.e.: Bulldog) if given a choice.